So…it’s been a while since I posted anything.  In fact, the last time I posted was July 2nd 2016.  How sad is that?

 

Our internet connection has been down in all that time.  It was only restored yesterday (thanks and no thanks to Telkom whom we have now cancelled as a service provider).  It was painful.  Mobile data costs makes one really appreciate having ADSL installed at home.  It is possible to use one’s mobile device as a hotspot…but why should it be necessary?  So, anyway…line restored.  This after being told that we needed a new router, R800 later it was an external issue with Telkom’s lines and, of course, no compensation for the router and they still expect to be paid.  Sadly, we still need to rent the line…Sucks. So. Bad.

 

Well, that’s my bad service rant.

 

Then, we are no longer doing the tandem blogging thing because, you know, life.  I miss my tandem buddies (Chevone and Celeste – please check them out) but am so enjoying spying on their lives via the little monitor.  This also means that I had no one to consider.  No one to be accountable to.  No one but me.  The problem with that is that I struggle with believing that people like what I write.  That what I say makes sense to others.  Look, I am well aware that my thought-processes are odd to many.  I am sure there are many out there who feel the same way.  Does what I have to say count?  Do my words add value?  Am I enriching anyone’s life with the words I speak digitally?  Yes, I write for me…but I also would like to feel like I am not the only one feeling what I feel.  I am allowed a little pity-party every now and then, right?  We all are.

 

How often do we walk around wondering where our place in this crazy world is?  Never-mind the world…our families?  Work? Real and virtual social groups? If we put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard), would people get what we’re trying to say?

 

I have decided to break my silence.  To find my voice again.  To admit to myself that my words do add value to someone somewhere…To me.  So I’ll keep on writing until I have no more to say.

 

That’s my (more than a) minute of honesty.

 

I will keep on writing for my own sanity.

 

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   ©Shelley Smidt-Booys 2016